Stories

Recently, I downloaded and listened to Brené Brown’s newest book “Dare to Lead”. As always, Brené’s book is packed with wisdom and insights and there was so much to learn from her.

Towards the end of the book, Brené spoke about a finding in her research that didn’t make sense to her until she experienced it first hand.

The author spoke about “the stories we tell ourselves” or “the stories we make up in our heads”.

This quote from Eleanor Brown in her book “The Weird Sisters” is a great summary of the types of stories women typically tell themselves.

We all have stories we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves we are too fat, or too ugly, or too old, or too foolish. We tell ourselves these stories because they allow us to excuse our actions, and they allow us to pass off the responsibility for things we have done - maybe to something within our control, but anything other than the decisions we have made...And it is past time, I think, for you to stop telling that particular story, and tell the story of yourself. Stop defining yourself in terms of them. You don’t just have to exist in the empty spaces they leave. There are times in our lives when we have to realize our past is precisely what it is, and we cannot change it. But we can change the story we tell ourselves about it, and by doing that, we can change the future.
— Eleanor Brown

In the world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), these stories are referred to as “Self Talk”. It’s part of what we teach in NLP FasTRAK (TM) courses and how to change the stories quickly, easily and naturally.

In the world of NLP we believe that:

“Your words do not define your world, they create your world.”

Pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself over and over. Pay attention to what you say about yourself when you’re speaking with others. These are the clues to what is playing repeatedly in your unconscious mind.

In his book, “The Biology of Belief”, Bruce Lipton also speaks about how the power of the words you say repeatedly in your mind creating the recording that plays on auto pilot over and over in your unconscious mind. He goes on to say trying to change the stories playing over and over in your unconscious mind, without the proper tools, is just like watching TV then screaming at the characters on the screen to change.

You know what this is like because, like me, you’ve probably watched a movie or TV show and then started talking to the screen and saying something like “DON’T GO IN THERE!!!” or ”HURRY UP AND GET IN THE CAR!!!”

Yelling at the TV is not going to change the pre-recorded movie or TV show and it’s not going to change the recording in your head.

Trying to change the stories and programming in your unconscious mind is just the same as yelling at the TV without the proven effectiveness of NLP or Hypnosis.

Start with paying attention to what you’re saying to yourself and about yourself. Listen to how you describe your thoughts and beliefs to another person. Then, focus on programming yourself for success. Make sure that all you say to and about yourself is positive each and every time.