Do You Feel Like You're Missing Something?

Do you believe that if you were just smarter or faster or just something that you could have more success in your business?

Did you miss school that day in grade two when they gave every child the key to success in life?

Years ago I read an article in which the author stated that she went through life believing that she had missed receiving the manual on life that they handed every other child but her in grade two because she was home sick that day. Do you feel like you missed out on receiving that life manual? I know that I felt this way for years. 

I spent so many years wondering what was wrong with me. I wasted so much time worrying what everyone else thought of me. When I think of the time and energy that I wasted I just cringe. 

If you too feel this way, I'll share the secrets that I've discovered to help you to move out of this negative spiral.

1. Know Yourself

Spend time getting to know and understand who you are. You can do this by taking the many assessments that are available free online. I'm not talking about the cute little social media quizzes. I'm talking about assessments that are credible and have scientific analysis behind them. Then, reflect on what the assessments tell you about yourself. Go inside and see if they are true.

2. Ask for Feedback

Ask your loved ones for feedback. Ask past clients and colleagues to share what makes you remarkable. Their answers will delight and surprise you. Having said that, you want to watch out for "Perception is Projection". This is when the person giving you feedback tells you something negative that you know in your heart is not true about you. When this happens, it's because it's actually something out of balance in the person giving you feedback and it's not about you. So practice discernment.

3. Get Involved in a Community of Like Minded People

When you spend time with others who think like you do, you feel less alone and more confident in what you're doing, saying and thinking. You'll also love that these people will lift you higher than you can on your own. You may decide to join a group of volunteers or a networking group. Just get involved with others who think like you.

4. Hire a Coach or a Mentor

Of course, I'm going to tell you to hire a coach or a mentor. This was what made the biggest difference for me in my business. Just make sure that you like and respect your coach or mentor. As for testimonials before you hire them and make sure that they do what they promise. Even more helpful for you will be finding a coach who leads a community of like-minded people that you can connect with.

So, what action will you take today?

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Pink Clarity

My favourite colour is orange.

All my life, I’ve loved the vividness and energy of the colour orange. And yet, I’m known for my passion for pink. My brand is hot pink, my networking group is called Pinkpreneurs. Today, I get a lot of joy and energy from pink. As I sit here writing, I can see pops of pink all around my desk and I even chose to wear a pink top today.

Today, I have people whom I have not heard from in a while, send me a quick note and picture and say that they thought of me when they saw something pink.

It’s a lot of fun being associated with the colour pink today.

What’s really fascinating to me is that ten years ago, I would never have associated myself with the colour and energy of pink.

It was other people in my life who pointed out how much I loved pink. When I met my husband on a blind date I was wearing my favourite pink sweater and my pink running shoes. Later, when we were together, and I was deciding on the colour of a product or clothing article that I wanted, I would reach for the orange item and he would always say, “get the pink one”. I remember the first time he said this, that I had a negative reaction to that. I don’t want the pink one, I would think to myself. I couldn’t figure out why he kept telling me to get the pink one.

Pink Picture.jpg

"It had to be Pink..."

A year or so later, a dear friend of mine commissioned a beautiful painting for me. She told me as I opened it that she didn’t know why, but her intuition told her to tell the artist to paint me a pink picture. At the time, my home was decorated with bright red and fresh green walls. I remember being touched and delighted to receive this beautiful painting and again wondering why the heck the people closest to me kept telling me to buy the pink ones and giving me pink gifts.

I was working with my first business coach and mentor in 2011 and she said something that was so profound and so helpful, that I’ve shared it with my clients repeatedly over the years. She told me that “you can’t see what’s written on the outside of your box” and therefore everyone needs a coach. It made so much sense to me. As I was coaching my clients, listening to their words and watching their actions, I could clearly see what was written on their box. It was so obvious and clear to me. I would reflect it back to them and they thought I was an absolute genius. I have to tell you this was very gratifying at the time.

Then, I looked at myself. I realized that the people closest to me were reflecting back to me what was painted all over the outside of my box. I love the colour and energy of pink. I looked at my wardrobe and could create a whole section of pink clothes and shoes. That’s when I knew that I loved pink as much, if not more than orange. Orange will always have a special place in my heart, but pink now takes up more space.

Do you have people in your life who are continually telling you something about yourself? Are you paying attention or are you ignoring them? You’ll know the truth of what they tell you by going inside and checking in to determine if it feels right, you’ll see if it rings true.

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Moving From Invisible To Invincible

This is the third part in my three part series on Invisible to Invincible.

Let's Start With a Review:

I shared my thoughts and observations of the behaviours of being invisible in your business in my blog Are You Invisible?. Did you find that you have some of those thoughts in your head at times?

Next, I walked you through What is Keeping You Invisible in the next part of this series. What do you think about learning how powerful you are?

Are You Ready to Move Towards Being Invincible?

Now that you've discovered what is keeping you invisible, it's time to take action to move from Invisible to Invincible.

Steps to Move From Invisible to Invincible

  • Start with A Strategic Plan:

    • Be very clear on what you want to have in your business. How much money do you want to earn this year? How many clients do you need to serve to reach your revenue goals? What actions do you need to take to get you in front of your ideal clients? These are just some of the strategic planning questions you need to know for your business.

  • Pay Attention to Your Thoughts, Your Feelings and Your Emotions

    • When you think about the amount of money you want to earn this year and the number of clients you want to serve, what thoughts come up for you? Did you make the goal big enough? If it doesn't make you a little nervous, then it's not a big enough goal. You can easily triple the revenue you earned last year. So, make that your goal.

    • Now, what thoughts come up? What feelings do you have? Can you name the emotions? 

    • Did you suddenly have an image or a memory of something come up from your past? Write it down. That's your unconscious mind sending something up for you to be aware of. 
  • Take Action Towards Your Goals

    • Now, it's time to take action. One way to do this on your own is to take action despite the negative feelings, thoughts and emotions that are swamping you with fear. Remember, these thoughts are being sent up from your limbic brain to keep you safe from perceived threats. As long as you know that you are safe, then you can muscle through and take action. Every time you take action and have a successful outcome, you're rewiring your brain and demonstrating that you can be invincible and survive. In fact, you'll thrive.

    • The more times you take steps towards being invincible, the more you rewire your brain and the quieter those thoughts that were keeping you invisible will become.

These are the actions you can take on your own to move from Invisible to Invincible. There are some people who may need some one on one coaching to move them over their negative emotions and limiting beliefs. If you're struggling to take action and get the results you need, then we need to talk. You may need to work with someone to rewire your brain to let go of the negative beliefs that are stopping you. If you feel that this is right for you, book a Clarity Session with me. If you want to get results and move towards being invincible faster, then connect with me to see if we're a fit.

You Can Do This!

It is possible to move from Invisible to Invincible in your business and your life. Once you've uncovered and changed the program that's running in your limbic brain, then you can easily follow the systems and processes to grow your business. I've coached many people towards their invincible business and I know you can do this!

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What Is Keeping You Invisible?

This is the first of a three-part blog on Moving from Invisible to Invincible.

How many times have you been told that it’s easy to build your business?

How many books have you read believing that they have the answer to growing your business?

How many courses or programs have you purchased hoping that they will give you the magic formula for your success in business?

How much money have you spent only to find that you’re still in the same place or worse off than when you started?

Have you compared your results to others and discovered that the process, formula, method or system just doesn’t work for you?

Do you do everything you’ve been told and still find that you don’t have the results you want?

Do you wonder how it is so easy for others to get to six figures and beyond in their business and you know deep down that you have just as much education, just as much talent, and skill and just as much, if not more, to offer???

How many times have you done exactly what you’ve been told to do and have that for some crazy reason it just doesn’t work for you?

Why does it work for everyone else? Why are these amazing programs, systems, processes and techniques great for everyone but you?

You could write a book about how many systems, processes, and programs simply don’t work for you.

If you want to discover what is stopping you from creating the success and abundance you desire in your life, then read on.

It’s FEAR. It’s YOU. You’re stopping yourself. Well, technically, it’s your limbic brain.

It’s not the program, it’s not the process, it’s not the system or formula. It’s not someone else. It’s not the universe.

It’s your incredible, amazing and powerful brain.

Here’s What’s Been Happening in Your Brain:

Your brain, your mind, and your thoughts are so incredibly powerful. For years, you have squashed down your fears and your negative thoughts and your negative emotions.

Perhaps, you just switch your thoughts from the negative patterns to something positive. When something negative does manage to pop up, are you mean and demeaning and disparaging and judgmental about yourself for having these negative thoughts in the first place? Are you like the child who sticks her fingers in her ears and starts babbling something like “nananananna I can’t hear you” in a singsong voice? Perhaps you’re much more mature and just refuse to listen. Or you say to yourself, “thank you for sharing, now go away” as I was taught to do.

Guess what? You’re just pushing these negative thoughts and emotions and fears further down. They are still there. I hate to burst your bubble. You may think that you can no longer hear them, but you’re just kidding yourself.

Those negative emotions, fears, thoughts, and behaviours are running on a loop in your brain. They are background noise that you’re just telling yourself you can’t hear. They are so far embedded in your brain, that they have you running on autopilot.

You don’t know that the program is running until you’re triggered by someone or something happening and then you react emotionally. You may cringe and run away, or you may get mad and say things you don’t mean. In the moment, this seems the best way to behave. It’s only afterward that you wonder what got into you.

Here’s the Good News! Your Brain Is Programmed to Protect You

Your limbic brain is hard-wired to seek out and find threats to your survival. The human species has evolved from a time when we lived to kill for our food or be killed. We had to hone our survival instincts to quickly assess each situation and determine if there was an imminent threat and we needed to either take flight or fight. Since you’re here today, this proves that your ancestors developed the ability to assess threats and take the right action for survival over others.

That part of your brain is still doing the same thing for you today. It is still assessing threats and determining if you need to take flight or fight.

All right then, if your brain is programmed to keep you safe and protect you, why does it stop you from building your business, asking for the sale, sharing your services and products with potential buyers? Would your brain want you to have abundance and success?

Let Me Illustrate What Is Stopping You with A Story.

You’ve heard that fear of public speaking is the number one fear, right? Let’s use this as an example to illustrate my point. Imagine the child who wants to tell a story to her family. She is talking and sharing her story and she suddenly hears laughter. She immediately feels shame and humiliation swamp her and decides right then and there that speaking up brings shame and humiliation. The experience of speaking up combined with the negative emotions of shame and humiliation and they wired together neurologically in her brain.

What really happened is that the TV was playing in the background and the canned laughter soundtrack played right in the middle of her story. The brain felt the intense emotion swamp her and then tied it back to the behaviour. A new program was written in the brain that it would protect her from this type of negative experience ever happening again in her lifetime.

As her life progressed, every time she decided that she wanted to stand up, share, tell a story, get on stage because she was told that’s how to grow her business and she had the formula for her success, she just couldn’t make it happen. Her limbic brain, her unconscious mind sent up FEAR and she was unable to move forward.

She had a program running in the background that stopped her. The program kept her safe, kept her small, kept her in her comfort zone.

In fact, whenever she was in a meeting, talking to people, her brain would actively search for proof that her beliefs and her programming were correct. Even the smallest negative facial expressions, body language or words would confirm the programming was right in sending up the emotion of fear to stop her from harm.

As an adult, if she was able to go back and look at that experience, she would realize that it was the TV playing and her family was really enjoying her story. Her life, career, and business would have played out so much differently.

How Does This Apply to You?

If you’ve experienced a negative experience around something in your life, your limbic brain will recognize any similar experience as a threat and will run a strategy to protect you. Your limbic brain is doing an incredible job keeping you safe and protecting you from harm.

You may not even remember the event that is causing you to run a program to bring up big fear every time you want to grow or step out of your comfort zone. The program is running so deep in your unconscious mind and your limbic brain that you just can’t get to it consciously. You need to peel back the layers and uncover the event that happened.

I'll share some key actions you can implement now to move from invisible to invincible in my next blog.

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Are You Invisible?

Being invisible is something that I struggled with for years. My invisibility served me very well for most of my life until I started my own business. It's impossible to stay invisible and to be a successful entrepreneur. Believe me, I tried it for years and saw very little success.

My desire to be invisible used to stop me from achieving many of my dreams and goals. Today, I'm actively taking action every day to be visible. 

This is the first of a three part blog on Moving from Invisible to Invincible.

Do you have any of these thoughts?

Here are some of the thoughts that my clients have shared with me over the past several years. These are the thoughts that are keeping them invisible.

  • Who am I to have a successful business?
  • What do I know that will make a difference in the world?
  • I don’t believe I can do this
  • I don’t want to charge for my services
  • I am just surviving from day to day even though I believe that I can be and do so much more
  • I have no idea how to get out of where I am today
  • I don’t have a clear vision of what I want
  • If I just keep making sacrifices, life will get better
  • I fear conflict and won’t stand up for myself
  • I have tolerated being bullied or abused
  • It’s just a matter of time before I am abandoned or rejected
  • I feel like a fraud
  • I feel like a failure
  • I need stay humble, so I mustn’t brag
  • I need to deflect compliments
  • I must be nice
  • I don’t get angry
  • Strong women don’t ask for help
  • Saying no will hurt their feelings

If you’ve had one or more of these thoughts swirl through your head, then read What is Keeping Your Invisible? to learn more.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a gift to share in the world. 

Did you find this information helpful? Sign up for the Success & Clarity newsletter. I'll share "Your Guide to Success & Clarity" and send you information weekly. Just click here to subscribe. 

Or, if you want to talk, book a free 30-minute Clarity Session with me today and we'll chat about how I can move you out of these Invisible thoughts and negative patterns to being confident and visible.